and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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