just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
