Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
