Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
