I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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