um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
