I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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