Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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