I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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