Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
