***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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