I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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