Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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