I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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