sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
