Fuck appropriateness.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
