Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
