I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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