I'm so fucking centered right now
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
