I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
