Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
