Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
