He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
