I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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