Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
