Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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