Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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