Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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