I wish I could teleport
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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