So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
