; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
