Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
