I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
