all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
