I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
