dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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