Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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