Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
