The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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