is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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