You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
