Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
