you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
