i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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