Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
