I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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