it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
