You really coming over, don't trick.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
