honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
