There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
