If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
