I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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