That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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